blam honey

As he lay awake thoughts skimmed across the dance-floor of his mind like quicksilver. The steely cold, leaving livid traces on the marble.

I loved him. I was scared of losing him.
������������������������������������������������������������������������ Now i want him, Iapos;ve lost him in the way i loved him.
����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������
apos;I Shoulda risked itapos;, He thought. apos;I should of ignored my fears, ignored my lack of confidence in comittment of the universe to help me and took it into my own hands and risked it.apos;� He hadnapos;t and now he could feel this toxin of anger, pumping through his veins.

Hot-blood fueled along this anger, this rancur anger at himself, blazing guilty fires that he feared would never go down. He was nineteen, heapos;d made mistakes before; heapos;d been the mistake before, heapos;d taken the mistake before - he knew mistakes and this one was burning him up.

Rolling over onto his side; he felt the emptiness of his bed beside embrace him.

---

I was attempting to be creative and write a piece of prose. Iapos;m not good at prose....poetry i am at least satisfied with my attempts at.

So lets discuss the themes instead.

Have you ever just started dating someone youapos;ve known for years and are really good friends with; only to find you start to worry that knowing yourself you will fuck up lose them as a lover and even more frightfully as a friend?...only to find that this obsessing worry incinerates your own confidence to the point where you think the best thing to do is mutter some nonsense about "iapos;m not really ready for a relationship now" through which you are trying to salvage a friendship not actually endangered specifically.

And then you turned away and didnt them see you cry, didnapos;t let them know how youapos;d poked your own heart in eye and told it to be quiet.

I mean its the twenty first century ,or so sam sparro keeps reminding me, and im sure that someone else has gone through this at sometime....

so, after something like that you try to go on with it all, try and,walk around all jumbled up in your mind and heart and pretending you did the right thing for yourself when you didnt - you dont even do anything for anyone just did something stupid.

"Well it has something to do with [LOVE] so itapos;s not very nice. [LOVE] splits the skin with a jagged thumbnail from throat to belly and plunges a huge filthy hand in, he grabs hold of your body tubes and they slip to evade his grasp but he squeezes hard, he insists, he pulls and pulls till all your innards are yanked out and the pain We canapos;t even talk about that. And then he stuffs them back, dirty, tangled, and torn, Itapos;s up to you to do the stitching."

And then get up. And walk around.

� "Just mangled guts pretending."

Do you one day if you still love them, do you tell them?
Do you ask them to give you a chance?
Do you deserve to be given a chance?
What if they dont want to give you a chance....?

Please.Discuss

-----

�

�

blam honey, blam comics, blam com, blam blam blam limited.